Of rolling pebbles and immovable boulders

I am but an immovable boulder in a water furious with action. I am but a stationary slab watching the raging water flow around me. Small pebbles scream past in the flood. Pebbles moving fast to their goal, smoothed at the end.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about either. Actually, it's kind of simple really. It's a metaphor on how I seem to moving no where fast, filled with too many goals to actually achieve to move in any one direction. The pebbles are those that have clearly defined goals and move in the river of life, not resisting, only getting more beautiful with time, eventually ending up on some river shore. I feel like a big ol rock (and look it). Though I may have goals, they are not clearly defined with no direction associated with them. Let me list some of my goals that I can control:

1. Creating games


2. Writing fiction


3. Learning Japanese


4. Losing weight/get fit


5. Travel the world

Each of these items have a path that all lead in different directions, though some might have a common path at the beginning. I find it very difficult to be in all places and achieve all goals. But you are going, why don't you just accomplish one goal at a time? That seems like the most logical choice, dumbass. True, that seems like the most logical choice. However, my mind is untrained. I tend to flutter between projects, creating one, abandoning another, wishing I could do the next thing. Thus, I have many things I have started and left for dead. I can see another goal here I can add to the list: Achieve goals, one at a time. Something I can control, for the most part.

Change is the hardest thing in life. In order for me a become that smooth pebble at the end of the long journey, a change in attitude, in outlook, in being, is needed. What to start on first? Realizing that what I am doing now effects what I do later. Possibly a good way to see this is making a path for each of my goals. Also, it won't hurt to think of what you need to be doing as what you want to be doing. Case in point, I need to be doing my homework for math. The need is simply for the grade. However, the want is connected to the desire to create games as computer games rely heavily on math. So, that will be my starting point, as all pathos have beginnings and endings.

So, there you have it. My ramblings about my life in general. This just might be my craziest, but true, post ever. I'll be sure to keep you posted inbetween my other insights.