12.05.2003

Spike TV, driving a spike into the Game Industry

Alrighty. I don't know how many of you watched the Video Game Awards on Spike TV. Hopefully a low number of you. I decided I would watch a little bit of it to see how it was. At first, I was thinking how good could it be if Spike TV sponsored the thing. They have Baywatch and Star Trek: The Next Generation in the same mornings or afternoons. I forget. I'm always channel surfing when I get to spike tv and never notice the time. What's important is they have a very broad demographic. Though I could be wrong....Do Trekkies (hahhahaha yes, it's wrong....BASTARD USS Rubicon!!!!) actually like women? in skimpy bathing suits? *ponders...*

My first thought was how loud and in your face this award show was. And I noticed how many "cheerleaders" were there. Ok, they were cheerleaders from an actual NFL team, which again I won't mention because I hate them and I don't want them in my ads. But anyway, they seemed really out of place. I think "boobage" was the term that was used describing it. There was also this canned cheering of what seems like a bunch of women at every point that seemed to warrant cheering. The shots of the crowd proved that the cheering was canned. They were lifeless. Stones at the bottom of a murky pond. Moss was growing on them. The blue kind.

David Spade happened to be the host. He wasn't funny. He was using humor addressed for the viewing audience and had nothing to do with gaming. I liked David Spade back in his SNL days. Now, he's just a starving artist. Not even that. He's just starving. So, he tells some jokes, the canned cheering is used a lot, and they finally get to the first award. I don't even know what the award was. I was expecting a list of nomiations and then the reading of the winner. Not so at Spike TV. They went directly to the winner. Oh yeah, I remember what the category was. It was best animation in a game. The winner? DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball. Why did it win? It certainly wasn't for the animation unless you count all the DOA chicks. The only reason it got that award was for the "boobage" factor. That's it, nothing more. A direct hit at what the game industry was trying to steer out of. Even at the main game conference they are getting out of the "booth babe" scene. Women are not just there in games for the viewing pleasure of the male audience.

Also in the early moments of the show was a performance by Bubba Sparx. I barely know of him. His song was barely intelligible. During it was more "boobage" and canned cheering. Cheerleaders dancing in falling water. Why the hell is this at an award show for games? Oh, it's on Spike TV. I see a theme here.

After some other awards, we decided go shopping for groceries. Dawn was torn between watching the crap and seeing Andrew WK, who was due to be on there at some time. It wasn't for a performance as there are pics of him in a wheelchair and crutches. And sporting a beard. haha I convinced her that AWK was not that important and having food in the house was. So off we went, wondering why we even thought it was a good idea in the first place to watch the VGAs.

Fast forward past shopping. We get home and I turn it back on, half expecting it to be over. Nope, still on. It turns out it was two hours long. So I'm happy with my decision to go shopping. I channel surf for a while and find myself back on Spike TV. There was about 15 minutes left. I was hoping to get a glimpse of AWK for Dawn. I did, but only at a table of one of the award recipients. This award happened to be for best music in a game. The winner for this one? Def Jam Vendetta. This award was then followed by a performance by DMX. Coinkydink? Hell no!! On a side note, between Bubba and DMX, DMX was far better. He knew how to work the audience. Or maybe the audience was too damn drunk by the end to really care any more.

I went to the Spike TV website and actually did find a list of nominations for each category. Why did even list the nominations if they would go directly to the winners? I'm thinking that the nominations were an afterthought to put around the winner to make it look like there's an actual competition going on. Some other clues you can find include:


  • Madden 2004 winning Game of the year, but not sports game of the year

  • Enter the Matrix winning best game based on a movie

  • The mixing of MMO with traditional games in the fantasy game category ie Star Wars Galaxies and Final Fantasy XI competing with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and The legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

  • And finally, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City not even nominated for best action game


There might be others. Without watching the whole show I'd be hard pressed to find more.

The only conclusion I can draw from watching what little I did is that the VGAs were merely a stupid little stunt to draw in some more viewers. It kind of reminded me of the XFL. Hopefully it will last just as long. They mention annual in their name. I know it's a typo. It's just so sad that the game industry worked hard to steer clear of their past image of being an only guy's club.

So, there's some ramblings from an irate game developer wannabe. And so, Spike TV gets my "Thanks a lot" award for bringing the game industry one giant leap back.

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